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Re: Runaway rail car kicked loose by teen hits New York station (update)

Posted by R36 #9346 on Sat Aug 1 15:11:39 2015, in response to Runaway rail car kicked loose by teen hits New York station (update), posted by SelkirkTMO on Fri Jul 31 17:09:19 2015.

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Video surveillance footage released Friday shows a rail car that was accidentally set in motion by a 13-year-old boy ramming an antique locomotive into a train station, sending passengers waiting for a train scrambling for safety.

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Video cameras at Utica's Union Station show the New York, Susquehanna and Western freight car barreling down on the county-owned facility during the evening rush. Seconds later, a camera on the station platform shows the car hitting the 100-year-old locomotive and ramming it through a station wall.

That first sentence needs to be restructured. It produces the thought that:
1. A 13-year-old boy is at the controls of an antique locomotive.
2. This boy rammed said locomotive into a train station, the force of the impact causing the rail car to move.
3. This runaway rail car caused passengers waiting for a train to scramble for safety.

The other paragraph included in the above quote shows this was not the case.

Proposed edit:

Video surveillance footage released Friday shows a rail car, accidentally set in motion by a 13-year-old boy, ramming an antique locomotive into a train station, causing passengers waiting for a train to scramble for safety.

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