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| Re: Same Sex Mariage Bill Passesd IN YYS (800631) | |||
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Re: Same Sex Mariage Bill Passesd IN YYS |
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Posted by piyer on Sun Jun 26 23:28:14 2011, in response to Re: Same Sex Mariage Bill Passesd IN YYS, posted by ntrainride on Sun Jun 26 08:50:57 2011. Ntrainride,I do not believe that there is a simple, single, one-answer-explains-all response for what drives the LGBT community to push for same-sex marriage. In the strictest, legal sense of the term, the marriages are equivalent: a marriage license grants the couple, regardless of gender, the same benefits, privileges, and protections (at least on the State level. The Federal level and the Defense of Marriage Act is a whole other kettle of fish). On the emotional level: the force behind an individual person to fight for the right to marry... On that level, I am going to agree with you, to a degree, and say that same-sex marriage and opposite-sex marriage are not entirely equivalent. Being the "traditional" form of marriage, opposite-sex couples sometimes (not always, or all) take it for granted that they can get married at will. They can run off to Vegas and have an Elvis do the service. They can sign onto a reality TV show and compete for the chance to marry a millionaire. They can marry, divorce, marry, divorce, ad nauseum without anyone stopping them. Some people are more attached to their favorite sports team (or model of subway car) than they are to their current spouse. To be sure, there are couples who are in for the long-haul, but the rising divorce rate speaks loudly for itself. For same-sex marriages, let us use 2001 as our starting date. That was the year that the Netherlands enacted the first nation-wide same-sex marriage legislation. The number of jurisdictions where it has been legalized has expanded slowly since then, and as of last year (http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2010/07/gay-marriage-chart-of-day.html) about 250 million people -- or less than 5% of the Earth's population (regardless of sexual preference) -- live in areas where it is legal. You don't need to be a mathematician to realize that translates into a tiny percentage of the non-heterosexual population living in those areas. With that as the basis, a same-sex couple wishing to have a legal, civil marriage -- the kind that opposite-sex couples (might) take for granted -- either have pickup roots and move to one of the states or nations where such marriages are available, or they have to dig in their heels and fight for the right to marry in the location where they live (presuming they aren't fortunate enough to already be living in a place where it is available). It is not my intention to... to cheapen, or suggest as such, the value of the marriages those of you reading this have, but to suggest that the struggle to get the right to marry in the first place instills a element of value to marriage for same-sex couples that opposite-sex couples probably don't have by virtue of not having had to overcome such a barrier to marriage. If you will... you can complain about your apartment being cold in winter, but you don't know what being cold really is until you've slept on a doorstep during a blizzard. Again, this is not to diminish what you have, but rather to suggest that there are certain aspects to this issue that one cannot fully comprehend unless one has actually lived the experience. As for what drives an individual someone to want to live the experience... again, no real one-answer-fits-all. What drives anyone to want to get married? Love mixed with moderate insanity, and touch of indigestion thrown in for good measure, I should imagine. Love, definitely, for it has the power to make us want to be better versions of ourselves (at least it does for me). Insanity, absolutely, because it makes us believe that we can successfully do the impossible, come Hell or high blood pressure. As for the indigestion... I'm sure most of us have had that endearing 'I made it myself' moment at least once. And so, my point, Ntrainride, is that we are all subject to human nature, regardless of whom we choose to love. The marriages, though legally identical, are in reality not necessarily equivalent because their intrinsic value is rooted not in law but in the hearts of those entering into the marriages. Commitment, and not a slip of paper, is what makes a marriage. If two people are so committed to one another, willing to weather the tempests life will throw at them without tossing in the towel at the first sign of a storm cloud, then it shouldn't matter what their genders are. I do not expect that I will change anyone's mind on the subject of same-sex marriage. The best I am hoping for an understanding that one does not have to agree with someone else's beliefs to acknowledge the validity of their right to have a differing view point from your own point. Respectfully, ~Alan |
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