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| Re: Futbol (468759) | |||
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Re: Futbol |
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Posted by cortelyounext on Wed Jul 1 17:51:47 2009, in response to Re: Futbol, posted by Fred G on Wed Jul 1 17:02:31 2009. Well, Fred G, notwithstanding my admiration for your photography and my respect for you as a posting legend, here are 10 larger reasons I do not:1. Players who go by one name, like Kaka or Sara. 2. Injury time. Totally arbitrary. 3. After the final whistle, no matter how insignificant the "Friendly" contest (whatever the hell that means), the players are required to remove their shirts and exchange them with players from the other team as some sort of memento to mediocrity. 4. Goal celebrations. The players fall and fawn over each other. 5. Referring to the field as the "pitch". 6. Players in "the wall" covering up their privates. Man up for goodness sake. 7. Players holding the hand of a child as they emerge from the tunnel onto the quote unquote pitch before the game. Actually, on second thought, that's pretty good. 8. Fake injuries whereby a player who is barely pushed from behind falls to the so called pitch as if he was shot, then writhes in agony. Then, the alleged trainers race onto the field with a piece of wood that is supposed to resemble a stretcher. Then, they lift the player onto this piece of wood and race off the pitch only to have said player fall off the piece of wood. Then, they put the player back onto the piece of wood and finally make it to the sideline. Then, the player struggles to his feet and begins running in place with eyes closed in obvious pain. Then, the player reenters the game 45 seconds later, still in anguish, until the moment the ball is in his area and there is a scoring opportunity at which time he is immediately back at full speed. 9. Nil - Nil is considered an offensive explosion. 10. Players who foul are required to apologize, offer their hand in a gesture of forgiveness, and gently stroke the face of the fouled player. 11. (Bonus to make up for #7) The requisite stampedes whereby fans are pushed up against the fence until it gives way at which point the fans are trampled to death. |
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